I can't believe that my moods are like the weather, it changes in a snap. I can't sleep with this kind of heat, and it's about for hours before wake-up time. Great. Turning here and there makes no difference, nor a cold soda, or an electric fan in full power. Darn, I guess I badly needed an AC. Here comes my compulsive behavior of indecisiveness. I had lived for so many years without any touch of convenience above average. Well, I guess tomorrow the weather would be nicer.

My head probably was banged somewhere because of my crusade of getting a fair amount of sleep. Because I saw the last person I would ever want to see in this darkness, behind my lids. And why was he smiling? That's a shock. But the fact that he was smiling tenderly at me almost made my mouth gape open. Where in the world are we? Oh yeah, who is to blame? Who said this is the manifestation of the unconscious?

The moment I felt his hands around my shoulders, was enough to make me froze. The moment suddenly closed in on me and I felt trapped. My shoulders hunched and my head almost came in touch with my collar bone. The feeling is something I know I wouldn’t like if my eyes are open wide.

Then I can hear his voice, great. "Why are you acting so weird? I just realized the search is over, I've found you! You were with me all the while" the moron even borrowed the lyrics from a song I really like. My reaction was something I know I would automatically do. My brows quirked and the look on my face was utter disbelief as if he had lost his mind. He probably had, else he wouldn’t be acting like this.

Why are we walking towards the light? And why are you so happy? You even look suspended in a euphoric fantasy of yours. I can’t move away, damn.

I would probably kill you if you had actually done this in person. This kind of contact is not something we would both actually do. Go find another woman to peck. I don’t want to feel this, not with you, as long as I have my brain functioning in my skull.

When had it been cold? Who opened the ceiling fan?! Where is my blanket? Good job. Under the pillow. Now, where is he? I'd seriously don’t want to see you like that again, not ever.

I'll get through this, time shall help. I've done it almost five times. I'll live. And when I do, its priceless victory. Doing the right thing is probably better than living for the moment then regretting it afterwards. I may forever live in "what-ifs" but two instead of one getting hurt in the end is the lesser evil in my conscience. White is better than red this time.